It’s been 13 days since my last sweet treat and I have 50 days until I’ll allow myself to indulge in whatever decadent dessert they set before me at the GCLS awards banquet.
The dilemma over what to wear is mostly settled now based on the overwhelming (okay that’s an embellishment) response from my blog followers. The blue dress is the clear winner. Of course this has set off a whole new dilemma…what shoes should I wear?
When I offhandedly mentioned to my work colleagues that I would pull out my black pumps with the miniscule heel, you’d have thought I was heading to Alaska to club baby seals (yes, another embellishment).
Then I was asked (ask is a loose interpretation for what really occurred), “I suppose you plan on wearing black hose?”
“Well sure, what’s wrong with that?” I naively asked.
Six people shook their heads at me. Apparently I was now front and center to the “Fashion Police” firing squad and I had just committed a grave error in judgement.
Postscript: I suppose they are correct – I just took a picture of my pumps that are over fifteen years old and they have bite marks from my cats in addition to serious wear and tear. See pictures below.
A lively discussion ensued and there was a bit of controversy over the color of shoe I should wear. Some thought black was okay, but none were enamored with my suggestion to drag out my scuffed up black pumps.
The overwhelming opinion was that I should buy a new pair of shoes with a sexy strap, possibly open toed, and definitely a higher heel. After one very passionate colleague showed me pictures of celebrities in royal blue dresses (the color I intend to wear) with nude toned shoes and glossy waxed legs, I had to admit it was a good look that I just might be able to pull off. This could depend on if, and only if, I can obtain a reasonably tall heel, nothing ridiculously high to cause embarrassment. Sandra Bullock in the movie, Miss Congeniality, flashed before my eyes. Yep, that would be me as I tried to navigate the stage or front of the room to present the award that I agreed to do.
This sparked a whole new line of reasoning. Why do I have to purchase a $200+ pair of shoes that I know I’ll never, EVER, ever, wear again?
I started to wonder why a particularly inventive entrepreneur doesn’t start a shoe rental business (you know kind of like those tux rental stores). It makes perfect sense to me. I can’t be the only person in this particular quandary. They rent bowling shoes for God’s sake, so why not fancy shoes for special occasions. Have I mentioned before how much I hate shoes and shoe shopping? See my Two Left Feet blog.
Postscript #2: Well whadaya know…they do rent shoes, but not in Moses Lake, WA…
The other interesting tidbit is that it is now the height of fashion to toss the nylons aside and go pseudo commando, which leads to a further dilemma – how do I avoid those panty lines? Nope, do not suggest a thong, because no way, no how am I wearing butt floss. A gal has to draw the line somewhere. Um…no…not my butt – I wish!
My colleague informed me that there is a product out there to get that glossy sheen on your naked, tanned, legs. She’s promised to Google that for me, because that too is a must. Of course I will toss that into my cleaned out junk drawer and in ten years I’ll ask my wife, “What the hell is this?”
In summary, I sure hope that readers find my books entertaining because the things I’ll have to purchase for awards banquets as a result of becoming a published author who made the short list is downright hysterical to me. For those who want to contribute to the shoe fund, the links are below.