The other day I was talking with my brother in law and sister on how best to help my father who is starting to need a lot more support to live independently. Of course, for us, the logical conclusion is for him to sell his home and move into an assisted living facility. He does not share our conclusion. It’s perplexing to me why someone would not want to live in a place where there is a lot more social interaction and people help you out with tasks that are frankly less important as one gets older, like cleaning!

I must be missing something because when I told my wife I’d love to find a lesbian or women only assisted living facility for when we need a bit of assistance, her reaction was not what I expected. Like my father, she was not amenable to that plan. Her exact words were: “Thow me off a cliff.”

Let me be clear, I was not suggesting a depressing, unpleasant aroma nursing home. I was talking about hanging out with friends in my old age, ogling hot women on TV, starting a book club for lesbian or WLW erotica, drinking bloody marys and acting out (because at that age people don’t expect you to be tactful).

Here’s the thing…I’ve discovered there is a stigma attached to not only long term care facilities, but to assisted living as well. I believe the message is that life is coming to a close more quickly than we might be ready for. Obviously, I don’t share that perspective. I can’t wait to evolve to that stage where I can legitimately pay for someone to take care of shit I don’t want to take care of!

That got me to thinking, where would we go? Because the last thing I want to do is live amongst smelly old men. I want to hang out with my buds. So…if I can’t find a place for me and my wife when the times comes, I think I might have to rope a bunch of friends into creating a place for us to retire to. I’d call it the Mature Ladies Lesbian Commune. And…anything goes because we earned the right to do whatever the hell we please. Run around naked. Sure. Make raucous jokes. You bet. Ogle those who help us out and happen to be young and beautiful. Respectfully, sure! Drink like alcoholics. Why not. Eat til I pop. Yup.

In preparation, I’ve done some research and there is even a place in Washington state! It’s called Discovery Bay Resort. It’s not too far from where I currently live, but it is not assisted living and kind of defeats the purpose of finding a place where assistance is available. I sent the link to my wife and her response was, didn’t I want to live somewhere warm. Well, that was a good point. There are many places in the warmer climates, but those states are not as liberal as Washington. Maybe by the time we’re ready to move there, they’ll move in a more liberal direction. I found this great article on the top 15 places to be old and gay: https://www.senioradvice.com/articles/Top-15-LGBT-Friendly-Senior-Living-Communities-in-the-US

No matter where we land when the times comes for us to get a little more help to care for ourselves, I’ll be sure to continue writing! Ironically, the choices I’ve made regarding the charities I choose to support are those that help LGBTQ+ youth. As a reminder, my second book published by Stone Soup Community Press, Compound Interest, supports: The Trevor Project and It Gets Better. Since 100% of the proceeds go to those reputable charities, I sincerely hope you choose to buy the book and help out. If you want to check out any of my books, you know the drill….click the links below.

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