Love and Hate

Some say there is a fine line between love and hate. Others insist the two are diametrically opposed. I often wonder about our capacity for such extremes. Yet I see evidence of this every day. I’m a huge fan of those heart-wrenching videos of cats and kittens who are on the verge of death and some kind soul with love in their heart rescues them. Of course, many of these sweet creatures have been left in the streets or sometimes, like the last video I watched, thrown away like nothing more than a piece of trash. Perhaps that is cruelty versus compassion, but where does that cruelty come from?

As I watch the divide in our country, this demonstration of Love and Hate is so much more on display. Political figures seem to bring out more of these opposing feelings. And the hypocrisy of it all is on vivid display. Individuals who profess their devotion to Christianity out of one side of their mouth, spew hateful words out of the other side, conveniently forgetting one of Christ’s greatest teachings to love thy neighbor. Or how about judge not lest you be judged. Finally, if Jesus preaches that the poor will inherit the earth, why is there such a scramble to become rich at the expense of others. I am fascinated by the concept of hate and where it comes from. Because if I can understand it, perhaps I can fight it. There are so many fascinating theories on the origin of hate. Here are a few I learned in my Google research:

Hate is based on issues of power and control. In other words, the idea that certain people can or should have power or control over others. That certainly fits our current political climate.
Hate comes from negative assumptions or beliefs about a specific group, and in times of crisis, these stereotypes strengthen and turn into hate.
Similar areas of the brain (putamen and insula) light up when experiencing feelings of love and hate. Thus the view there is a fine line between love and hate.
Hate may simply be an extreme version of anger, dislike, disgust, or contempt. Although different researchers believe it is most distinct from anger or dislike and closest to disgust.
Evolutionary psychology insists that everyone in every culture is born with innate mechanisms to ensure they are capable of hatred and prejudice because nature made us hate our enemy to give us the tools to identify an enemy versus a friend. The whole survival thing.
I suppose closely aligned with evolutionary psychology theories on hate, fear plays a huge role in its origin. Fear of the unknown, fear that some outside group or person will take something away from us. If people feel threatened, hate kicks in. This recent upsurge of hate for the LGBTQ+ community baffles me because what could we possibility be taking away from these people?
Still, others insist hate is a learned emotion. We are taught to hate a certain group of people.

Needless to say, I find all of this fascinating because secretly one of my favorite tropes is enemies to lovers. Why? Because it gives me hope that the rampant amount of hate out there has the potential to turn into love. Although I haven’t exactly followed this trope completely, because I don’t believe I’ve ever quite had my characters hate one another to start, there have certainly been a few times where the characters had a rocky start to their relationship. Perhaps one day I will write a book where there is deep-seated hate between two characters who come to love one another after discovering there is more to the other person than either what they’ve been taught or what they assumed. Please feel free to check out my books, including those with a mild enemies-to-lovers trope. I say mild because I’m not really known for being a trope writer!