I was watching a lesbian short (Youtube film) last night and started laughing out loud at a line in the movie. One of the main characters brought donuts for breakfast in a park. I am paraphrasing here, but she said something to the effect that who doesn’t like something that has a hole in it. Well…that got my demented mind thinking. I wondered if this favorite breakfast food was invented by a lesbian. Or…maybe this the preferred food choice for lesbians.
Now I know y’all are thinking, but men have holes too. I’m not diminishing the importance of someone’s butthole. How else would you rid yourself of the bullshit I peddle sometimes…LOL? Or, we all have mouths, too. And, of course, there are often times I should shut mine! But, there is no dispute that only women have that really important hole. The one I love to cherish and worship.
So, I had to do a little research on who invented the donut and why. I mean, really, why would someone randomly say, “Hey, why don’t we punch a hole in the dough and call it a doughnut?” Now, think about that? If doughnuts (using this alternate spelling for a reason) are a lesbian thing, why add the word nut to the end of dough? Why not doughhole?
I was disappointed to learn it was not a lesbian who invented the doughnut. Here’s what I found out about the history of doughnuts:
Several stories live out there, but the common thread is that the doughnut was invented by a young sailor by the name of Hanson Crockett Gregory. One version states he was sick of the greasy fried treats that didn’t quite cook all the way in the center, thus the removal of the middle creating a hole. Another version insists that during particularly rough seas he would impale the fried dough on a spoke to keep his hands free. This all happened in 1847. The machine to create the hole was not invented until 1920 by Adolph Levitt, a refugee from czarist Russia (maybe that is why Trump has such an affinity for Russia). The device was a huge success, although why someone couldn’t just punch a hole in the dough, who knows? But, the donut’s real success came in 1934 at the World’s Fair in Chicago, doughnuts or donuts were billed as ‘the hit food of the Century of Progress’.
I’d love to rewrite history a bit….maybe before 1847, some inventive little lesbian was being playful, stuck a fried treat on her lover’s hoo ha and began nibbling, creating a hole so that she could reach the real treat, the creamy center of her lover. However, in my version, she didn’t call it a doughnut, she called it a doughhole…It’s possible!
So….have you missed me? I did say I would write a blog every now and then when the mood flows over me. Oh, and of course the obligatory PSA….please check out my books so that I continue to be inspired now and again to write a blog!
I am still peddling The Dream Catcher because honestly, sales are pretty pathetic so far on this book (beyond anemic) and… cross my heart and hope to die… The Dream Catcher is a super fun book (all 10 people who reviewed it say so!): Dream Catcher Listen to me read the prologue and 1st chapter of The Dream Catcher here.
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