The Art of Teasing

I enjoy teasers, there’s no secret about that. But I’m still not sure if I do this well or not. Teasing takes many forms and not all teasing is good. Now…you know I did a little research on this because I thought it was an interesting topic to explore. Off the top of my head I can think of five types of teasing: 1) Verbal in the form of flirtation; 2) Sexual…which has so many varieties; 3) Book promotions; 4) Brain teasers designed to keep your mind sharp; and 5) Teaser bets.

I wasn’t very interested in the last two noted above, so I’m only going to talk about the first three. Unfortunately verbal teasing which is usually intended as a flirtation or because one person likes another enough to joke around with them, can go awry rather easily. I like to write that kind of banter in my books, but verbal teasing can go down a bad road quickly and turn into bullying. So…what is the difference between good teasing and bad teasing? It all comes down to intent and how it is perceived by the other. Perception is a very difficult thing to navigate because no two people will perceive something exactly the same. Teasing about something that a person might want to change, especially something about their physical appearance can get a person in hot water in a nanosecond. Women are notorious about talking about their eating and dieting habits, but to tease a woman about that is usually riddled with traps. It might feel like the right thing to do when a person masks a painful experience with a joke, to tease them and keep the topic light, but that can also be a path to serious hell. Joking is a coping mechanism for many. It is certainly part of my toolbox, but there are times when serious subjects require serious conversation and timing is everything. So be cautious when teasing someone as they opening up to you.

Sexual teasing is the ultimate foreplay and often starts well before you get the person into the bedroom or up against a wall as we often read in romance books. Honestly, have you ever had sex with someone up against a wall? Personally, I prefer a nice soft bed! I wanted to know how many different ways there were to tease a woman and most of my search offered ways to tease your man…ugh! But I did like this one article that provided a few hints including: talking about your fantasies, using sex toys, touching new parts of the body that you don’t normally pay attention to (my favorite is the inside of my arm, and my clavicle), bringing unexpected elements into the bedroom, such as food (chocolate sauce) or a camera. For most people, edging is the ultimate way to tease…keeping the other person on the edge for a long time before allowing them release.

Book teasers are a lot of fun to select, but there are times when they are misread without context. I’ve fallen into that trap before and because I know the intent and my book, it’s harder for me to see. Hopefully this past week I’ve chosen teasers that entice y’all to read my latest book, but if I’ve totally missed the mark, maybe simply reading my blog will remind you of this book (Sculpting Her Heart) that I am particularly proud of. Although it’s gotten a slow start, I am hoping that with increased reviews, which so far have all been positive, others will decide to give it a chance! Want to check it out or any of my other books, you know the drill, click on one of the links below! Don’t forget to check out MyLesfic.Com for the two latest sale books from Affinity, Free Spirit by Erica Lawson and Death Is Only A Beginning by JM Dragon.

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