I love M&Ms. But, now, I love them even more. In case you haven’t been following this riveting (sarcasm) new controversy…M&Ms are launching a new inclusive branding campaign and it’s caused Tucker Carlson’s tighty whities to bunch so hard up his ass that he’s constipated and in pain. And…anything that pisses Tucker Carlson off is okay in my book (next week we’ll talk about the ice cream debacle). But honestly…like the kerfuffle with the Dr. Suess books, this newest rant could not be more ridiculous. Apparently, a shit ton of people have nothing better to do than dig into this controversy and make jokes on the internet. Yup…I do recognize the irony of writing a blog on this…but come on it was just too tempting to avoid.

Just to show the absolute idiocy of his comments…I have to share them. “M&M’s will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them. That’s the goal. When you’re totally turned off, we’ve achieved equity. They won,” Tucker said. In reference to the Orange M&M he states, “Maybe he doesn’t like all the ugly new shoes he sees around him. Maybe he liked the sexy boots. Maybe the orange M&M is a secret sexist himself.” And finally, he laments about the new M&M cartoon (yes cartoon) characters are less sexy. Honestly, you can’t make this shit up….maybe Tucker wanted to date one and now, well, marriage aside, he can’t see himself with a nonbinary cartoon.

When I start getting depressed about how far our country is turning to the radical right, I just have to remember these fun little stories to cheer me up. Oh, and toss a handful of those nonbinary M&Ms into my mouth. Yummy! Just think of all the new WLW jokes we can now write about eating these more inclusive M&Ms! Yup, I am not above including something in a future book. I have no shame. Want to check out what outrageous shit I put into my books, you know the drill, just click the links below!

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