So…last week we talked about pubes, and in the blog, the fascinating topic of Merkins naturally came up. As promised, I mentioned doing a whole blog post about this fascinating subject. I had to admit I hadn’t known about Merkins until I wrote the blog about pubes. So…as a reminder, a Merkin is a pubic wig. Yup, fake hair that you wear down there! Hey, I rhymed…totally unintentional. Merkin kind of gives new meaning to the term…muff diving! Here’s what I discovered about Merkins. (Apologies…but this graphic was too good not to reuse).

1. In my previous blog I gave you a brief tidbit about the Merkin’s origin story. Let me refresh with a few more details. The Oxford Companion to the Body claims the origin of the Merkin came about in 1450 from a slight deviation of the word Malkin. Now, Malkin also has an origin story. It’s a shortened version of a grimalkin (an archaic term for a cat). Do you see where I’m going here? Grimalkin is a combination of Grey (the color) with Malkin, which had multiple definitions (a term for a low-class woman, a weakling, or a mop) of its own. In addition, Malkin can also be traced back to a pet name for the female name, Maud. I know, rather convoluted. The point is that there is a connection to Malkin, which has connections to cats, or rather pussies…and mops that probably had a resemblance to the original Merkins.
2. The low-class woman comes into play because prostitutes often wore Merkins after shaving their to cover up evidence of sexually transmitted disease.
3. But Merkins haven’t always been worn by women without means; in fact, they may have gotten their start with queens and those in the upper classes. According to Randy Sayer a Hollywood film and theater wig stylist, “Cleopatra was known for her beautiful, long, luxurious pubic hair, which she proudly wore brushed and oiled, and she was known to admire — and display — her pubic hair in the shiny marble floors and the light, diaphanous gowns of the time.” Because most citizens of Egypt were required to shave their pubes, due to pubic lice, the noblewomen wore Merkins to show they were rich enough to maintain their pubic hair.
4. Let’s talk about Hollywood, which warmly embraces the Merkin. It’s pretty much a staple for R-rated films. Here are just a few suspected and verified examples of the use of Merkins in film. Mary-Louise Parker, who disrobed in Angels in America, Suzanna Hamilton in Nineteen Eighty-Four (suspected), Sasha Grey in Entourage, Heidi Klum in Blow Dry, Evan Rachel Wood in Mildred Pierce, and Kate Winslet, who refused to wear a Merkin in The Reader, have all openly discussed their Merkins. Not that we care much about this, but men have also donned the pubic wig. Most notably, Jake Gyllenhaal in Love & Other Drugs. And then there is the use of Merkins in comedy: Scary Movie, Sex and the City, and Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay. Finally, Merkins gives a bit of privacy or a kind of safety blanket for the actresses and actors. Go to Wikipedia for a more exhaustive list of movies and television where Merkins were used.
5. In early theater, when men played women’s parts, the men would wear Merkins for the nude scenes.
6. When women entered the theater and penicillin helped with STDs, Merkins went deep underground until around World War II. Full-frontal nudity in commercial movies started happening in the late 60s, the Merkin may also have made an appearance at drag performances, or the first Burning Man in 1986, but it sure wasn’t as popular as it is today.
7. Because porn stars often waxed or had electrolysis early on, and bikinis got a lot smaller, including the explosion of thongs, more people began to wax and have electrolysis. Well…regrowing hair wasn’t as easy as one suspected. So…enter the Merkin when actresses couldn’t grow all the hair back.
8. Apparently, there’s a Hollywood story where a make-up artist needed to add a beard to an actor, didn’t have one, so shaved her pubes, and the actor swore it was the best beard he ever had. Okay, so not exactly a Merkin…more like a reverse Merkin?
9. Who can forget when Lady Gaga wore a bluish-green Merkin (with highlights!) at the Much Music Awards. Of course she had to draw attention to the little wig. I love her!
10. Finally, for around $20…you, too, can have your own Merkin. They’re available on Amazon! No shit, for real, you can get them there (in multiple colors).

Obviously, I had a bit of fun with this topic. Oh…who am I kidding, I always have fun writing these blogs. So…how to weave this into books. Perhaps it’s time to write a humorous sex scene where one character starts a muff dive, only to discover that the woman is wearing a Merkin. Now, not only does she have to figure out a way to remove the woman’s clothes in a sexy manner, but also how to remove the Merkin! I haven’t written it yet, and it doesn’t really go with my current WIP, which is more sci-fi-ish and not exactly true to either character, unless Merkins become super popular in the 26th century. But, I still have loads of fun writing my books, and apparently it’s official. AI says I’m funny…at least an AI comparison of Ali Spooner and my style of writing says so. So check out my books with the links below.

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