Oh, goody…a new term to share with y’all. And this one is hysterical. Yes, the goblin within the word is by design. This new dating trend is absolutely unbelievable. I kind of wish it had been around when I was younger, then I wouldn’t have needed to go to so much trouble to impress on a first date. In a way, this makes sense and will probably result in less heartbreak in the long run. So what is goblintimacy? It’s the trend to instead of showing up for a first date as your most polished, best self, you show up as…you got it…a goblin. Seriously, it’s a thing, and this is a trend. What does this actually mean?

Showing up as your true self, for better or worse. Way before you make that vow to stay together for better or worse, a prospective partner gets to see that on the first date.
The concept entails eliminating prospective partners from the get-go, who, let’s face it, if you aren’t your authentic self, means a relationship is going to end badly. How long can a person keep up the show, really?
With goblintimacy, we get to show all our quirks and imperfections. And let’s face it, we all have them. I might have more than others. Thank goodness my wife sticks with me despite those imperfections.
Bonus, if we show our real selves from the start, being a U-Haul lesbian is not a big deal, because we know what we’re getting in a long-term relationship, not needing to get the person to slowly reveal their flaws over time.
With the rise of dating apps and AI, young men and women want nothing less than radical honesty in the initial stages of getting to know one another. No need to question what is real and what is not.
Experts caution that goblintimacy should not be a license to be lazy or apathetic in your approach to dating. It doesn’t mean putting in zero effort. Unless that’s who you are at your core, and that’s what you want people to know about you. But most of us aren’t lazy, uncaring, disrespectful assholes. There’s a fine line, though. It’s dangerous to confuse putting your best foot forward with not being your authentic self.
This trend started from the frustration that, as single people, they believed they were doing all the right things in dating, yet hadn’t found love, so why not let the inner goblin loose?
Finally, real intimacy is earned. Just because I want to reveal my flaws and deepest secrets on a first date does not mean my dating partner is compelled to do that.

There are many related new dating terms that I haven’t revealed in this blog, but feel free to look them up: kittenfishing, shrekking, banksying, and wildflowering. I mostly like to write characters with flaws, and with the exception of books like The Ultimate Betrayal, my characters are authentically themselves from the start. Perhaps that is something important to me. My current WIP definitely follows this trend because Samantha is so adoringly authentic. Another book that comes to mind is Sculpting Her Heart because Zara is so delightfully honest and authentic. Feel free to check out my other books that follow this theme by clicking the links below.