Etiquette for Bumper Floaties


moses lake day

My wife and I live apart during the week because she travels one way into Seattle and I work  a completely opposite direction in Moses Lake. We ended up buying a condo in Moses Lake which is a small town in Eastern Washington.  Apparently the lake is a big tourist draw.

For the first time since I took the job in Moses Lake three years ago, we decided to spend the fourth of July weekend in Moses Lake. Big mistake.

Moses Lake moon

It was well over 100 every day, so we spent the majority of time in the pool at the condo. This is where I wondered if there are rules regarding the number of flotation devices can fit in a small pool. As it turns out, apparently quite a few can fit in a relatively small area. There were sharks, manatees, loungers and noodles in every available nook and cranny inside the pool. Yes, there is a flotation device called a noodle which is basically a long cylinder. Who knew?


In a surprising turn, the adults took up most of the pool space needing to remain cool, while the kids were relegated to the corners and not allowed to splash and play like normal.

We joked about writing rules for bumper floaties which is what we affectionately termed what was occurring in our tiny pool. Everyone agreed that if you accidently bumped into another floatation device, that was cool.

The pool has actual rules about what you can and cannot bring into the pool area. No glass-that makes sense. No food or beverages in the water-okay that mostly makes sense because no-one wants cool aid or beer spilled into the pool. However, there are those who question why a person can’t put water in that convenient little cup holder on the lounger floatie. The rule that got us all talking was the one that says you can’t be under the influence of drugs or alcohol while in the pool.

moses lake pool

I imagined the pool police would come in and give us all a Breathalyzer. We wondered if that meant we couldn’t blow a .08 – the legal limit for driving, or if it meant no alcohol can be consumed at all before or during pool time. I can tell you for a fact if that’s what it means, no-one, including me and my rule following wife, adhere to that rule.

I’m an introvert so I don’t get involved in ensuring that everyone follows the rules. I blow off that annual owner’s meeting every year.  This past year my wife went because she loves that shit. She claims she’s not an extrovert, but she knows more people than I do in Moses Lake and I live here practically full-time. I know it’s not nice, but I tell her not to be the pool Nazi and this past weekend, she listened. She gave up on reminding people about the rules.

moses lake sunrise

I’m waiting for them to add to the list of rules to give me some kind of idea about how many floaties are allowed in the pool at one time and it it’s first come first splash. Will they use some kind of algorithm to determine the number like they do for club capacity?

Sometimes I imagine that lesfic is like that and one day they’ll tell me, “Sorry you got into the writing game too late-no more lesfic authors allowed.” Until that day comes, I’ll keep writing and hope people enjoy my books.

So here is a link to the first chapter of my new book, Asset Management: First Chapter of Asset Management, which comes out in August.  My first novel, Love Forever, Live Forever, is already available in both e-book and print format. Links below will get you to all the places you can purchase my book.  Thanks for supporting and stay cool this summer!

Amazon              Affinity E-Book Press         Smashwords        Barnes and Noble     Bella Books

Full moon night AM Cover

One thought on “Etiquette for Bumper Floaties

  1. A couple of lifetimes ago, it seems, I was an IT recruiting. I heard Moses Lake was a very nice area but my job was to find computer techs who could go into Chase Banks (after they converted over from WaMu) to fix hardware, software and network problems. Moses Lake was always a personal nightmare. Lots of tourists and part time residents but no IT geeks that didn’t have to travel 90 miles plus to get there and no one that could ever go on short notice.

    I’m glad you love the area. If you, your wife or anyone you know is a computer guru, you might hit Chase up and ask who they’re currently contracting with. I’m sure whoever the latest company is, still struggles.


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