A Lesbian Scrooge


Can I be honest with y’all? I don’t particularly look forward to Christmas. It’s not that I don’t participate in some of the festivities around me at this time of year. I do. I wear the Ugly Sweater on the designated day expected of me. I go around with the Senior Leadership Team and personally hand out cards with real money (yup my new place of employment stuffs cash in the cards) to all the employees. I definitely eat all the sugary treats placed in front of me. I can’t resist. Besides, it would be rude not to partake when the employee spends so much time baking the tasty treats.


Several years ago, when I first met my wife, we did the whole putting up a tree and buying gifts for each other thing. I agonized over what to get her, in the same manner I ruminated over what to purchase for my family.


Before I met my wife, I bought cards and religiously sent them to my Christmas card list. I climbed on the roof and put up lights. I put decorations in every nook and cranny of my house. All of this has slowly dwindled over the years.


It’s been a gradual transition to the Scrooge side of Christmas. First, we stopped moving the live tree from outside to the garage, then to the inside of the house like we were supposed to (needing to acclimate the tree to the temperature inside). Instead, we evolved to decorating the live tree we bought that sat on the patio outside our sliding glass doors. Then, a few years ago, we stopped buying a tree altogether. Instead we hung a lone Christmas ball in our condo and kept it there all year. My wife then bought three more of those large Christmas balls and I hung them in my new apartment. They will undoubtedly remain there all year as well. Presents for one another have dwindled as well. Now we don’t even make a show of buying a token gift for one another.

File Dec 21, 7 31 10 PM

The final nail in the Christmas coffin came this year when we decided it was not prudent for my wife to come to Forks for Christmas because she had to travel this year and that would leave our cats alone for far too many days in a row. I couldn’t make the trek to Moses Lake because I agreed to take Administrative Call from Christmas Eve to New Year’s Eve.


Before anyone gets all sad and begins to pity me or my wife for spending Christmas alone, I’m really fine with it. I don’t know how she feels. I hope she is okay with it. I am, because it isn’t my favorite holiday, at all. I don’t like the shopping that is required. I don’t like trying to figure out what to get people. I don’t like addressing Christmas cards. And…I don’t like going to the massive trouble of putting up decorations only to take the damn things down two weeks later. I am looking forward to quiet time and plenty of writing opportunites.


Now, here’s the strange thing…even though I don’t really like Christmas, I love reading Christmas stories, watching Christmas movies (the sappier the better), and best of all I like writing Christmas shorts. I totally immerse myself into that every year. I know, I am an enigma. Don’t try to figure me out.


So…I ask you…am I a lesbian scrooge? Do you think less of me for my lackadaisical attitude toward this very popular holiday? Well, hopefully you don’t because then you might decide to check out my Christmas shorts or my other books! As usual the links are below!


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10 thoughts on “A Lesbian Scrooge

  1. “are you a lesbian scrooge?’ No, it sounds like you and your wife live in two different locations, maintain two different homes, and it probably takes all your energy to make that work, adding another task is just plain burnout. xoxo Lainie


  2. I too stopped celebrating as the boys grew up and wanted to spend the holiday with friends. Why bother even decorating just for myself. However, I have met someone who is slowly pulling me out of my self-imposed scrooge-like Christmas hiatus (after nearly 10 years) and you know what, it feels nice. So, celebrate or don’t, it’s your choice, still, it’s nice when you have someone who cares enough to make it nicer…and you have a very loving wife who adores you which is obvious, so cherish that. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Bah Humbug from someone who so understands you on this blog. Lol.


  3. I’ll join you on the Scrooge List. No decorations inside or outside. I slipped cash into my daughter’s and son-in-law’s account a few weeks ago because they had big car repair bills. I plan to cook the three us and then nap. lol


  4. We flew the coup this year. Left cold and rainy Portland for Hawaii. It’s the best duck out from the madness we have ever pulled off. We have to endure the song Male Kalikimaka here and there but otherwise we just plain unavailable for parties, the mall or secret Santa exchanges. Hallelujah….
    Regards, Sistersin Scroogness.


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