Experiences, even bad ones, are fodder for my blogs. Here’s what happened last weekend…
I live in a small community in the middle of the State during the week and my wife lives in an even smaller community on the other side of the mountains. Unfortunately, our jobs make it inconvenient to live in the same place during the week due to our opposite commutes to work. We take turns traveling back and forth on the weekends to spend time with each other and our options for date night are quite limited.
Since we both like good food and specifically seafood, we thought we would try this restaurant out in the town that I live in during the week. I can’t recall who told me it was decent seafood, which is a good thing because I would want to scream at the person, “What the hell were you thinking?”
We have our favorite places to eat, but the options are very limited in this small community, so we were desperately seeking out new options for date night. I suggested we try out this place and my wife agreed.
I am now asking myself, “What the hell were you thinking?” Our first clue should have been that seafood and the middle of the state are not a good combination. Sure, Moses Lake has water, but the fish that comes out of that lake is not the kind of fish anyone would want to consume.
We walk into the place and it screams red neck with an unusual twist. The walls are purple. Yes, that’s correct the place has purple walls. This was not going to be a refined seafood restaurant, but I tried to assure both my wife and myself that outward appearances aren’t always a determinant of the quality of the food.
“You know,” I started to say, “the best places I’ve ever eaten at were little dives.”
My wife skeptically nodded at me and narrowed her eyes at the bar.
The waitress, who looked like she hadn’t eaten in a week, came over to take our drink orders.
My wife asked about the drinks and she couldn’t answer any of our questions, so she brought over a man who seemed to have a greater knowledge of things. I don’t even remember what we got, I think it was the Dogg Treat. It was definitely not a treat. My wife didn’t finish hers, but I needed to numb my senses so I chugged mine down and sheepishly said, “It’s not too bad.”
We both love crab cakes, so we thought it would be a safe choice for an appetizer. My wife ordered the halibut and I ordered the chicken stuffed with crab. I wanted to order the halibut, but it came with a spicy relish and I don’t like hot and spicy food.
Five minutes later the waitress came back to tell us that they only have one crab cake. We declined to get the remaining crab cake and cancelled our appetizer order. I wanted to remain positive so I smiled and said, “We always get too full from appetizers anyway. Probably a good thing.”
Another twenty minutes passed and the waitress brought out a plate with three crab cakes. “The chef found these.”
I looked at my wife and she raised her eyebrow at me.
We choked down the crab cakes. Again, I tried to remain positive. “Well they aren’t the best, but we have had worse. There is something interesting in the mix.”
“Yeah, it’s mustard,” my wife stated with disdain.
The place was relatively empty as they started to remove tables. Then we noticed a man just sitting on a stool on the other side of the restaurant. He was just sitting there and one of the waiters brought him a drink. I wanted to know why he was there. So I said to my wife, “Why do you think he’s sitting over there?”
“I think he’s the bouncer?”
“Really? But, the front door is over there.” I pointed to my right which was in the opposite direction from where he was sitting.
My wife shrugged.
I just had to know. So I gestured for the the waiter who seemed to know more than our waitress to come over and I asked, “Hey, I just have to know what is that guy doing over there?”
“I know he’s so serious. I told him he was freaking people out. We hired him to check IDs at the back door. We have a Mexican dance group coming tonight. It should be a good show,” the waiter replied.
After the guy left, I couldn’t help myself. “We should stay and watch the show.”
My wife just glared at me.
Finally, the waitress brought our food. My wife took one bite and made me try her halibut minus the spicy salsa. It was beyond horrible. I looked sympathetically at her. I hadn’t tried my chicken yet. “You can have some of mine, chicken is really hard to screw up.”
I took a bite of my chicken. I grimaced. “Okay, maybe they have some really talented chefs back there, sorry hon.”
She took a bite of her potatoes. “The potatoes aren’t horrible.” She took a few more bites and then pushed her food away.
I bravely took nibbled on some of my meal and then threw in the towel.
We usually leave a lot more than a twenty percent tip because we like to get to know the locals and make sure we get good service, but that night we only left twenty percent. We would never be coming back.
As we left the restaurant we starting laughing. What else could we do. My wife said, “You have to write a blog about this. It was too damned funny not to.”
It’s always these kind of occurrences that make life interesting. If you are ever in Moses Lake, Washington, I recommend staying away from Olde Dogg Seafood.
What I don’t recommend staying away from (commercial break) is my two books!
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3 thoughts on “Olde Dogg Seafood”
Okay, as soon as the server said, “The chef found these,” I would have asked, “WHERE did he/she find them?” That is NOT what I would want to here in a restaurant. That sounds like a hideous experience. But it was funny and does make for a good story.
I know. It was so awful. I’m amazed I’m still married! By the way. Look forward to seeing you again next weekend at GRNW!
That is funny, Annette. However, I think the clue to the quality of the food might have been in the name. I mean, Olde Dogg is hardly enticing!