The Rear View Window and the Windshield

A common trope in romance centers around how a person’s past affects future relationships. It’s often used as a way to explain a person’s hesitancy to get involved with someone new. Sometimes it’s a bad break up in the past. Sometimes it is a deceased partner they simply cannot get over. Sometimes there is real and serious trauma that colors the way they see the world and try to navigate new waters. I don’t believe I’m the only one who enjoys reading about this. Probably because I think everyone does to varying degrees…allows the past dictate the future. And to a small degree we can take lessons from the past to help us shape a better future. That is healthy. Ruminating over the past is not.

I suspect all of us, no matter how emotionally healthy we are, have allowed our pasts to influence our futures. Sometimes it makes us stronger. It certainly is the foundation for a good love story. Angst sells. However, I wonder what this world would be like if those who have a hard time letting go of the past would embrace this simple insight that my brother in law shared with me…There is a good reason for the size of the rear view mirror in proportion to that of the windshield.

So…what does this mean? Simply put, looking forward and leaving the past in the past is a much healthier thing to do. Now, I am not saying this is easy, and there are so many reasons why people dwell on the past. However, finding a way to keep this perspective in mind has so many rewards. Constantly rehashing old hurts has never done a bit of good. Getting to that point where one can look forward, though, is easier said than done when the individuals involved cannot see a way past the hurt and trauma of the past. When we allow the rear view mirror to grow in size and block our windshield, it is nearly impossible to see that blessed future. This is probably the most profound thing I have learned in the past week as I struggle with the impending loss of my father.

I told my brother in law, I need to write this comparison of the rear view mirror into one of my books, it was so profound to me. Perhaps I will sneak it into my current WIP. Regardless, every great love story, has the main characters doing just that…not letting the past define them or their relationships. A bright future is the equivalent of a happily ever after. Want to see how I engineer that in my books…you know the drill, simply click the links below. And…don’t forget about the sales this week. I am so excited that my two best selling books, Asset Management and Locked Inside are on sale. Unfortunately, I jumped the gun last week…but honest…this week they really are on sale, as opposed to the little mistake last week that was promptly corrected…thank you MyLesfic!

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4 thoughts on “The Rear View Window and the Windshield

  1. I know what you are going thru. Itโ€™s hard and it sucks. Just know your friends are here for you. I like the theory of the rear view mirror. Your brother-in-law sounds like a smart man. Great blog as usual. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘


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