Aftercare is for Vanilla Sex, too!

I am absolutely loving the articles that I come across during my daily newsfeed perusal. Last week, my wife found a great one about winter vaginas. This week, I came across an article about the aftercare and why this is something those of us who tend to be more on the vanilla side could learn a thing or two from our sisters who prefer BDSM. Here is a link to the article: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/aftercare-bdsm-vanilla-sex_l_61958a0de4b0ae9a429b1eba

Now, this may seem like a no-brainer, especially for lesbians, because we aren’t likely no matter what kind of sex we prefer, to just roll over and fall asleep after good sex. Lesbians are all about connection. However, there are many times I read about those hot butches who prefer one-night stands and find a way to escape quickly after sex. This is a favorite trope…so perhaps this article will influence future portrayals of those stone butches. Because…those strong hot butches also pride themselves on making their partners sing their praise after really great sex. My guess is that would ensure the experience was fulfilling for both partners. Besides, aren’t butches all about taking care of their partners, even if the relationships are short-lived as is just for one night?

The bottom line is that regardless of whether you like your sex hard and fast, rough, or soft and slow, aftercare is an essential part of intimacy. According to the article, aftercare could be anything from making your partner a snack to cuddling and having an intimate conversation afterward. According to the article good sex requires intimacy and vulnerability. After sex, the oxytocin flows freely, creating intense emotions. Good aftercare will create the kind of safe space needed for the person to feel comfortable becoming vulnerable again with you or even someone else if it’s casual sex. Even if you never see the person again, aftercare is ultimately about respect. Thus regardless of how we portray those characters, flaws and all, it’s a good thing to make sure they show respect, even with their casual partners. I think I need to remember this when writing my sex scenes. Because no matter how hot the scene might be, many readers crave the development of intimacy and connection, which might be absent if one of them simply rolls over and falls asleep after sex.

I honestly don’t know if I’ve done this well or not. I might have to re-read a few of those sex scenes. Of course, I encourage all of you to check out any of my books to see how well I’ve done this in the past. You know the drill….just click the links below. Don’t forget about this week’s sale books with MyLesfic. My mentors are both featured with Erin O’Reilly’s iconic book, If I Were a Boy and JM Dragon’s awesome novel, Falling into Fate. Hopefully you’ve already had a chance to read my two holiday shorts, The Thanksgiving Baby Caper and Donner Junior Saves The Day (both have favorite characters from previous books).

Amazon US Amazon UK

Amazon US      Amazon UK      Amazon Australia      Amazon Canada      Amazon Germany

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is other-1.jpg

Amazon US Amazon UK

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is locked-inside-audible.jpg

Amazon US      Amazon UK      Amazon Australia      Amazon Canada      Amazon Germany

Also available in Audible!

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is sculpting-cover.jpg

Amazon US      Amazon UK      Amazon Australia      Amazon Canada      Amazon Germany

Free on Kindle Unlimited

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is inspiration-cover-snip.jpg

Buy From Amazon US

Buy From Amazon UK

Buy From Amazon Australia

Buy From Amazon Canada

Buy From Amazon Germany

Buy From Affinity

Available on Kindle Unlimited

Join Mailing List

Amazon Author Page

Proud to be an Affinity Rainbow Publications author!

Affinity Author Page

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s