I am absolutely loving the articles that I come across during my daily newsfeed perusal. Last week, my wife found a great one about winter vaginas. This week, I came across an article about the aftercare and why this is something those of us who tend to be more on the vanilla side could learn a thing or two from our sisters who prefer BDSM. Here is a link to the article: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/aftercare-bdsm-vanilla-sex_l_61958a0de4b0ae9a429b1eba

Now, this may seem like a no-brainer, especially for lesbians, because we aren’t likely no matter what kind of sex we prefer, to just roll over and fall asleep after good sex. Lesbians are all about connection. However, there are many times I read about those hot butches who prefer one-night stands and find a way to escape quickly after sex. This is a favorite trope…so perhaps this article will influence future portrayals of those stone butches. Because…those strong hot butches also pride themselves on making their partners sing their praise after really great sex. My guess is that would ensure the experience was fulfilling for both partners. Besides, aren’t butches all about taking care of their partners, even if the relationships are short-lived as is just for one night?

The bottom line is that regardless of whether you like your sex hard and fast, rough, or soft and slow, aftercare is an essential part of intimacy. According to the article, aftercare could be anything from making your partner a snack to cuddling and having an intimate conversation afterward. According to the article good sex requires intimacy and vulnerability. After sex, the oxytocin flows freely, creating intense emotions. Good aftercare will create the kind of safe space needed for the person to feel comfortable becoming vulnerable again with you or even someone else if it’s casual sex. Even if you never see the person again, aftercare is ultimately about respect. Thus regardless of how we portray those characters, flaws and all, it’s a good thing to make sure they show respect, even with their casual partners. I think I need to remember this when writing my sex scenes. Because no matter how hot the scene might be, many readers crave the development of intimacy and connection, which might be absent if one of them simply rolls over and falls asleep after sex.

I honestly don’t know if I’ve done this well or not. I might have to re-read a few of those sex scenes. Of course, I encourage all of you to check out any of my books to see how well I’ve done this in the past. You know the drill….just click the links below. Don’t forget about this week’s sale books with MyLesfic. My mentors are both featured with Erin O’Reilly’s iconic book, If I Were a Boy and JM Dragon’s awesome novel, Falling into Fate. Hopefully you’ve already had a chance to read my two holiday shorts, The Thanksgiving Baby Caper and Donner Junior Saves The Day (both have favorite characters from previous books).

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