We all heard what we heard when the president said, and I quote, “Remember, with the war, it’s just artificial, it’s a little bit high, it’s a small price to pay, It’s a small price to pay for keeping the world safe, for keeping our country safe. They could take out a city. Let ’em take out Los Angeles, let ’em take out San Diego. This is a very small price to pay, and it’s going to be over with very soon.” The spin doctors tried two things: we all misinterpreted what he was saying, because he was really only warning about what Iran could do with a nuclear weapon; or the classic response that he was joking. There is no official count of the number of times our president has said something completely inappropriate and outrageous, only to later dress it up as a joke. It seems to me that he is not leading the way to Make America Great Again. Instead, he is leading the way to Make America Graceless Again. I did a little research on two topics related to inappropriate jokes in poor taste, and here are some of the things I learned.

This is not the first moment in the history of the world that rampart jokes in poor taste ran amok. The first time was in Ancient Rome, when it was common to mock the gods and make graphic sexual insults; then came the Middle Ages, a time known for blasphemy, mocking church rituals and nobility. The 18th century had a lot of vulgar humor about bodily waste as well as an increase in graphic political cartoons. The 70s were known for a lot of profanity, drug references, and anti-war satire. Now we come to today, where it is increasingly acceptable to push the boundaries on taboo social issues, including jokes about rape, people with disabilities, or racist, sexist, and homophobic slurs. This shift to jokes that revolve around social identity, marginalized groups, or tragedy, led by the President of the United States, has got to stop. Honestly, I’d prefer jokes on bodily functions, as long as they aren’t mean-spirited and directed at a person or group of individuals.
Years ago, when I was working, we would conduct workshops on how to combat harassment and deal with sexism, racism, and homophobia in the workplace. The first thing we taught was to confront the person telling the inappropriate joke and, at the very least, not to clap or laugh. There have been studies on how sexist humor correlates with sexist attitudes. And that it is also associated with “rape myths.” Most surprising was that this was not limited to men. Women in highly hostile sexism environments (MAGA) found sexist jokes just as amusing as the men. And when the women told the sexist jokes, they had an even higher impact on men’s sexist attitudes toward rape. This is how rape culture not only exists, but continues to thrive.
One research study looked at 530 adults and found that jokes that are disparaging, obscene, hostile, taboo, or otherwise offensive were most likely to be created by younger men who were less educated. Hmm…well, that’s a surprise…NOT!
A study on the effect of sexual jokes on kids at school found that the jokes were not only psychologically harmful to those who bore the direct brunt of the joke, but also affected students indirectly exposed.
This trend toward disparagement humor does a couple of things. It simultaneously communicates two conflicting messages…explicit hostility or prejudice, and it doesn’t count because ‘I didn’t mean it’ since it’s just a joke. Unfortunately, we all know the person isn’t joking at all, just making an excuse for their bad behavior. This has to stop. We can’t let these jokes slide and give people a pass. And for f%$k’s sake, we have to stop cheering, laughing, and clapping when disparaging humor shows its ugly face, no matter where it comes from.

I have a lot of passion around this topic because I truly believe making disparaging jokes is not simply inappropriate or in poor taste; it’s dangerous and creates a culture of violence and malignment of vulnerable groups. I love to laugh, but not at the expense of others when using disparaging humor, which results in some very nasty side effects, including rape culture and violence against women and marginalized communities. We can all do better. It reminds me of the time some of my family brought out the game Cards Against Humanity. I don’t exactly remember the cards, but there were rape cards in the deck. At that point, I was out. I left the game, but not before calmly explaining why this was so inappropriate and not at all funny. Sometimes, all it takes is for a person to calmly confront the jokester and share why it is so offensive. Don’t remain silent because silence is not our friend, nor is apathy. There isn’t a need to be aggressive, but there is a need to share a different perspective and let people understand the impact of their words/jokes. I often use humor in my books and invite anyone to confront me if I ever cross a line. I think we can include sex and awkward sexual situations in our humor in a way that is not disparaging; I’ve certainly done it before. Feel free to check out my books by clicking on the links below!