Last week as I labored over my rowing machine and finally managed to replaced the spring loaded wheel, I jokingly posted on Facebook that I wanted my butch card (thanks K’Anne). I felt I’d earned it after four blinking hours with tools in hand and multiple bruises as proof of my labor.

That got me to thinking (I know dangerous) about all the labels we use in our wonderful subculture. Off the top of my head I identified the following: butch, femme, boi, lesbian, gay, transsexual, transgender, bi, male identified, female identified, dyke, baby dyke, and stud. I was so sure I’d missed a few that I did some research and came up with a few additions: androgynous, soft butch, blue jeans femme, diesel dyke, drag king, Chapstick lesbian, futch, kiki, gold star lesbian, hasbian, LUG, pillow queen, sport dyke, stem, stone butch, stone and pseudo butch.

 

So I ask all of you wonderful people did I capture them all or did I miss a few? Feel free to send a note.

I identify as a lesbian, but what kind of lesbian? Most people who know me probably wouldn’t classify me as butch. They’d probably say I lean more toward femme, but I love tools and Home Depot is one of my favorite stores. I’ve tarried in drywall, installed garbage disposals, re-grouted tiles, replaced electrical outlets, installed ceiling fans, replaced faucets, and managed all types of minor plumbing and electrical repairs. I don’t wear lipstick nearly as often as my wife. I despise high heels or any fancy shoe for that matter, but enjoy putting on a dress now and again. I don’t go anywhere, including camping (which I barely tolerate) without access to my hair dryer. So I wonder what that makes me? I don’t think I quite fit the Chapstick lesbian moniker and I’d prefer not to use the label futch (I mean come on who thought of that). I’ve decided to add a few more that might fit. How about fetch, or bumme? I think I prefer fetch over bumme for the same reason I don’t like futch. How about lipstick butch, now that has a nice ring to it.

Maybe I don’t have to find a home at all. Labels sometimes create hurt and discontent. So why do we use labels? I think it’s human nature to categorize things so we can make sense of our complicated world. I’m okay with that, so if there’s a new label that you want to call me, I choose fetch because it has a nice ring to it and it’s close to fetching which has a positive versus negative connotation. You know, such as, “she sure was fetching…”

However, I’d like to think that like my books I’m a completely new bird…unconventional, but in a good way. I suspect like me there are many books or women that don’t fit squarely into that round hole and that’s what makes this world interesting. If you have a hankering for something slightly out of the norm, feel free to check out my books.

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