No-one was more surprised than I was when asked to participate in a Curve Magazine event, titled Hot Spots and Connect the Dots. Why? Because of the panel description:  Bring your cold drink as these leading romance writers reveal their sexy, sultry secrets in connecting characters in the powder keg where erotica and relationships collide. The authors will open with a 5-minute reading, followed by a steamy Q+A. The key word here…erotica.

sexual chemistry

When the word Erotica is thrown out there, does my name honestly rise to the top of your list of authors? After my first book, a reader who has since become one of my most loyal followers, told me they loved my books, but I needed to step up my game in the sex scene department. I’ve been working on that ever since. But let’s be honest, most of what I write tends to fall more into the vanilla and gentle side of the spectrum. Not always, of course, because then I would not continue with my reputation for the reader never knowing what they might get when reading one of my books. 


That got me to thinking, what defines erotica? Or for that matter, what exactly constitutes a ten on the hot meter? I’m going to make the argument that I believe the sex scenes of a more tame nature are discriminated against. Why does BDSM automatically push a sex scene up the hot scale? And first-time intimate experiences are rated as sweet, but not hot?


So, I did a little research. Here is the definition of erotica: “literature or art intended to arouse sexual desire.” Wikipedia describes erotica as: “any literary or artistic work that deals substantively with subject matter that is erotically stimulating or sexually arousing but is not pornographic.” I find Wikipedia’s definition quite interesting considering Webster’s definition of pornography: “the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement.”


Why is pornography tied more closely to obscenity or immorality than erotica? Could it simply be semantics? Honestly, I want to know the difference. I often wonder why there is such a slut-shaming of those employed in the porn film industry. Perhaps I don’t know enough about it, but I’d like to think that we should not judge women who basically produce a film version of erotica. Like books, I would presume some of it is better than others. I know that as a writer I would hate if any of my work was described as pornographic, but why, if Webster’s definition holds true? It seems like erotica is a more acceptable term to use. Is the difference quality? One is considered art, the other not so much (or bad art). If so, who gets to decide what is porn and what is erotica? Both have the same purpose to arouse sexual desire.


That got me to thinking that some authors cringe when their work is described as erotica, simply because it is lesfic or fiction featuring women who love women. Certainly, not all lesfic or WLW contain graphic sex scenes, but I would have to say the majority of what I read, does.


Depending on a person’s tastes, I would suspect that gentle love-making scenes would absolutely do it for some and for others, not so much. So perhaps erotica is in the, pussy of the beholderOh, yes, I don’t just make up words, I make up phrases!

sex tape

Do you see my point? What might be considered hot to me, may not work for you and visa versa. This brings me back to my original question. Why does BDSM, fisting, liberal use of sex toys, and anal sex automatically get lumped into erotica, and other intimate sex scenes generally considered on the tame side, don’t reach the top spot on the hot meter? Side note: Swearing during sex or using non-clinical terms also seems to ratchet up the scene.


I have a theory. I believe the more taboo something is, the more it is considered erotica or porn (depending on your comfort level with definitions). There is a certain excitement to reading about somebody engaging in a sexual practice I might not consider for myself but am damn curious about. While I may not necessarily participate in some things, I admit that I enjoy reading about them. People are enticed by taboos…by being naughty…doing something against the grain…feeding our baser selves and not getting taunted or having stones thrown at us. Fantasies are all about the things we are hesitant to admit to the outside world lest we are judged. Reading about those things, allows us to enjoy something that might not be accepted in larger society. Talking openly about sex and what we enjoy is sometimes tamped down in polite conversation, which is why we join Facebook groups that allow us all to let our hair down.


Speaking of erotica is lesfic or WLW, I hope all of you will join Isabella, Virginia Black and myself for a titillating panel on May 9th, 7:30pm Eastern Standard Time (US); May 10th 2020 GMT (United Kingdom) 00:30am -1:30am; May 10th,  2020 (Australia)   9:30am-10:30am AEDT. Registration for the event is required. Attendees will have a chance to win books from Isabella and myself.  Click here: To Register


Wanna read how far I’ve come with my intimate scenes?  You know the drill, simply click one of the links below!


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